…siMpLe thoUght of MEdio…

wew…i’m workin over time ni malem…cape juga jo’…apalagi i haven’t got enough sleep last night…but ok lah…at least g bingung mo ngapain menjelang week end ini…   and beside, i’m on duty as temporary back-office staff for Presidential Visit to Nuclear Instalation next July.

yesterday i got some chat with one of my pal…she was talkin’ bout somethin’ concern with priority of Life…and i suddenly reminded to a another friend of mind whose always believe that his priority is the main key of his life. as an open-minded person, i think more freely…he also thought that perhaps i’m to easy doin’ my life…well, i believe that if we choose a simple way of life, then we got a simple…like JLo said "what you’ve seen is what u’ve got". just like my buddy believe, she also thought that priority is the key to reach what you dream of…well, is not in the way of disagree but i more consider to make my life as an "option"…ouw…perhaps in right word as an "choises". We can choose where we want to be in sitting ourself, free to choose what we want, free to decide to achieve somethin’ or leave the game, and such…but she told me, "how come we achieve somethin’ if we don’t have any priority in our life to runafter??"…then i told her…when we got priority of our life, that moment we tied ourselves to our freedom in choosing toward achieving our dreams…and when we came into a fall, perhaps we quite hard to stand up all over again after so many sacrifice we did. THAT"S WHY i prefer my self to believe in "Life is a matter of Choosing"…i choose to be happy in every moment of my life…i choose to be perfect in my relationship…i choose to fallin’ deep when i’m in Love…i choose to gain balance in every decision i made…i choose to be the best i can for my partner…i choose to stand on my feet when i’m down even with a bit tears and struggle…and i choose to lovin’ you more and more every day, wheater you know it or don’t…i decide my self to gain WHAT I REALLY WANTED WITH NOT SACRIFIYING WHAT I WANT TO DO in life. then when i’m falter…i won’t regret the moment i made by the freedom that been gave to me to choose. at least…i still able to decide what i want, not because i need to do it, but because i want to do it. and finally i can made her understand why i keep my stand to enjoy my life freely and simply as i do. it was all because you have a right to choose…not because u have to choose

-Life isn’t about Priority…It’s all about Choice-

wew…what a day!!! dah 3 hari ini cukup menyibukkan…menyenangkan juga… 3 hari ikut nimbrung nge-gawe-in rapat kantor, at least i feel the bussiness after couple borring weeks…

cukup menyenangkan ternyata ini adalah hari terakhir (tapi BT bangget g bisa ambil Uang Jatah Makan Bulanan tadi….!!! DAMN!!!)…harus tunda sampe besok deh…yasud…no Prob lah…

I damnly missin’ you nehh…g tau kenapa semakin gw pengen ngelupain lu malah semakin gw inget sama lu terus…ya..at least sekarang udah bisa agak "pasrah" dan gak terlalu berharap banget…susah, but cuman itu bukan yang bisa gw lakuin?? dan mungkin cuman itu juga yang bisa lu lakuin…mmmpphhh…jadi inget lagunya Gabrielle yg Out of Reach (salah satu Ost. Muvi fave gw tuh…Notting Hill)…lu tuh emang Out Of Reach banget buat gw…dan mungkin bener…"We’ll never meant to be". yah, mo gimana lagi…"Cinta itu emang beautiful, tapi akan lebih wonderful kalo yang ngerasain kedua belah pihak"…(Emang gw Cinta Elu??)…Kalo pertanyaan yang satu itu gw blom bisa jawab, dan kalo pun bisa mungkin itu tentatif…Gw gak yakin after throughing rejections, despertations, expectations and such…gw bahkan ragu kalo somewhere ada "someone" buat gw…hahahaha…(beberapa hari yang membuat gw Skeptis…parah!!!). Bahkan untuk lu pun (kalo ternyata lu ngerasaain apa yg gw rasaain ke lu), belum tentu…ah sudah lah…yang jelas, mungkin bisa dibilang "I Never Suite To Thing Called LOVE"…yea, i guess so. But sejujurnya…saat gw "fall" sama lu, bisa dibilang itu adalah moment dimana gw bisa "berharap lebih" dibanding saat2 sebelumnya…sampai2 gw tuh percaya kalo’ lu juga ngerasain apa yg gw rasaan ke lu. but i never have gutz to ask it…gw cuman bisa tunjukin kalo gw "punya feeling" ke elu, tapi sayangnya, mungkin sinyal2 yg gw kirim g pernah sampe…(jaringannya cemen nih!!!SUCK!!!)…sometime gw yakin, dan that time itu pula gw hilang keyakinan. I’m so much afraid of "rejection", even the smallest. I’m afraid of ignorance…hal2 kecil such, you didn’t reply my message or didn’t accept my invitation means lot to me…mungkin gwnya yang terlalu sensi kali ya….hehehe….ya, kan dah gw bilang…"Gw gak yakin after throughing rejections, despertations, expectations and such"…ya bukan salah gw donk kl gw jd skeptis…mmpphhh…but sejujurnya, after all i’m still expecting you kok. gw bakal nunggu sampe lu sadar kl "pintu" gw tuh udah kebuka sangat-sangat lebar buat lu…dan kalo pun ternyata lagunya Gabrielle bener, at least lu dah ngisi subject dari beberapa lembar Blog gw slama ini, and also gw dah ngerasain expectation once again…sakit, but beauty juga si…  thx 4 being in my life

-Love is something Beautiful, But it’s Wonderful if felt by two human in love-

1. my emotional was NOT stabil…!!! and it’s still!!!

2. Damnly missin’ you. why you always ignore me??!!!

3. Thx Gung, finally i got a friend! u just keep my positive around.

4. Hate the circumstance. Good Mood - Bad Mood - Good again - Bad After ….

5. Why can’t people just Leave me stand my way!!! STOP INTERRUPTING ME !!!

6. Do You Feel What I Feel…Coz I’m start To Think That I was WRONG… I WAS WRONG to Think that You Feel what I’m Feelin for You this Long…

7. Berhenti Berharap ….